Nailing the Nails!

Some one has once or maybe often said, "vanity, thy name is woman".
To be 'Fair and Lovely' must be every Indian woman's dream! In the other India we see in TV serials with women in zari pallus and gold heels in the kitchen, it is the colour of the face that matters and maybe the volume of metal weighing them down. The rest is covered up anyway with the nine six yards we call a saree.....
But the modern Indian lass is swiftly emerging out of the fair and lovely tube, to sculpt her body, mould her hands, shape her feet, fashion her nails and colour her hair.....neatly landing into the trap set by the manufacturers, she now rushes to the counter to purchase chemicals to enhance, trim, soften, lengthen expand and improve her assests.
I know of one such determined lady. Impressed by the silky tresses(salute the wig-makers) in the shampoo ads on the TV she tried out every product, coating her beautiful, frizzy hair with shampoos, conditioners, even the electric comb with disasterous results. Learning her lesson after much pain and no gain, now she has reverted back to the naturals she used to pamper her hair with earlier. And it is responding to the gentle touch, swiftly gaining its fomer crowning glory!
Now about my penchant to have beautiful hands. Whenever i glanced at pictures of Monalisa or princess Diana my eyes would greedily take in only their soft hands and shapely nails. So i thought why not me?
Then my good friend the idiot box gave me the solution to my problem- THE NAIL SPA!
The first thing to do was to find out what exactly ' a spa' was....Many word-smiths rejected my plea till ultimately i discovered that a spa could be a place to wash, clean, scrub, warm, cool, treat, massage......long list of possibilties
So, turning a deaf ear to my body that needed all of these teartments and more at my age, i made an appointment to get my nails 'done up'.
On the D-day i decided to hide my true identity of a 'teacher-housewife' and dolled up like a 'society lady'- diamonds( fake), chiffons, scents...Well, the rest is History......the monumental judgement was declared with a curt finality.
I would have to care for my nails, not drench them in water so often- so all those experiments at creating fusion food were OUT.
I would have to use gloves to protect my nails- the love of my family won the day, i could not stay away from baking that odd apple crumble, cheese croisant and coconut cookies!
Regular application of creams and lotions was mandatory to growing healthy nail- the whopping bill left a huge dent in my pocket and I forgot which was day cream and ....hidden from public view, they are growing fungus behind the dressing table mirror!
So now I take pride in my short and clean nails that take delight in cooking, scrubbing, kneading, rolling, patting and clicking the wrong keys as i type this piece...! Halle...luiya!